Is God distant because I messed up? Because I angered him? Because I made choices that made him mad at me? This line of questions is actually a surprisingly common email we get from people, especially when it feels like nothing in life is going their way. Today’s question comes from a listener named Kristen. “Dear Pastor John, I am writing to you because I am very concerned that I have lost God forever. I have been very active in our church community and about three years ago really experienced joy in Christ. I felt the gifts of the Holy Spirit, and I was talking and singing about God all the time. Later that year I met my now ex-boyfriend, who said being so happy and committed to my church was delusional, and that I should not go as much or listen so intently to what is taught at our community youth group. I was scared he would dump me, so I slowly stopped going to church and singing and praying as much because I didn’t want to lose the man I thought was to be my husband. While dating this man I turned away from the church. “I felt God was upset with me and would not take me back anyway because I had sex before marriage. I was also very mad when my dad was diagnosed with cancer, and I was having health issues of my own. But now I want to turn back to God, but I fear my heart is hardened. I feel a pain in my chest when I come to church. Am I lost? Is there any hope for my restoration again? I’m scared that I have squandered something precious that cannot be reclaimed.” EPISODE 1171 // MARCH 14, 2018 https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/when-god-feels-distant-he-may-want-us-to-grow-up Find other recent and popular Ask Pastor John episodes, https://www.desiringgod.org/ask-pastor-john