The sign of forgiveness is not that you forget the pain another caused you, but that you relinquish the desire to punish, and instead seek their good. “Dear Pastor John, thank you for your years of faithful ministry online. My question is in regards to forgiveness. The other day my husband made a hurtful comment about my appearance, and with the help of wise counsel, an older woman in the faith walked me through expressing my hurt to my husband about it. Of course he asked for my forgiveness right away. But the lingering question is this: How do I know if I have truly forgiven him? It still hurts when I think about it, and I do think about the event. I’m seeking by God’s help to serve and love him despite what I feel, but is lingering pain from the offense a sign that I have not really forgiven him?” EPISODE 1184: http://desiringgod.org/interviews/have-i-really-forgiven-someone-if-i-keep-remembering-their-wrong Related Resources: T4G 2018: http://t4g.org/#conference Find other recent and popular Ask Pastor John episodes, http://desiringgod.org/ask-pastor-john