How do we teach our children to respect our God-given authority, while also treating them with Christlike humility and servant leadership? One reason parenting is such daunting work is because of the balance required of us parents. We don’t want to be too strict or too lenient; not too consequence-driven and not so gracious as to overlook rebellion. Into this balancing act comes a question from a young mom who wants to be kind, but who expects to be obeyed. Her name is Emily. “Hello, Pastor John, and thank you for your ministry. It has helped me in my delight in God immensely. Recently I have been stumped on how to blend two seemingly contradictory facets of biblical character into the parenting of my two small children: (1) displaying Christ-like humility and gracious servanthood ( Philippians 2:1 Chapter 2 1 If there is therefore any exhortation in Christ, if any consolation of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any tender mercies and compassions, –11); and (2) requiring honor, respect, and obedience from my kids ( Ephesians 6:1 Chapter 6 1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. –3). Could you help flesh out what discipline looks like with both of those aspects — how to discipline children in humility while maintaining my position of respect and authority? I feel stuck bouncing between being too strong with the ‘obey me’ card, and then trying to balance myself by being ‘gracious’ and perhaps requiring too little obedience and respect. I am so confused. Can you help a momma out?” EPISODE 1180: http://desiringgod.org/interviews/how-do-i-show-kindness-to-my-children-and-expect-them-to-obey Find other recent and popular Ask Pastor John episodes, http://desiringgod.org/ask-pastor-john